we call her beautiful.

i once fashioned this innocent game of connect the dots- a silly picture of my life and the way it would be. somehow, plans turned forgotten and every unplan decided to show up and make home within my life. the only flaw within my portrait stemmed from a simple misunderstanding and common misuse of one word followed by another, my life. attaching life to mine was something i never considered or questioned, but in the hardest of ways i have learned life is everything but something to call my own. we cannot plan our births and through unexplainable experience, the death i planned or suddenly decided on did not occur. accepting the idea surrounding my lack of control is still a struggle.

this is hard

sobering

and quite frankly, this fucking sucks.

but every breath we are undeservingly given will be one i try not to take for granted.

in the most beautiful of all ways, i almost missed the simple glory of her wings. somewhere, i was given breath enough to finally see. for this, nothing could replace my thankfulness.

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3 thoughts on “we call her beautiful.

  1. to be quite frank, at this moment we are so desperate for her to live i could really give two hoots what anyone believes in or doesn’t. but whether you believe, don’t believe, even if you don’t really care, if you could find it in your heart to send up a simple “prayer” of sorts for my aunt and her four beautiful children, this would mean the world to us, especially them.

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